cayseealyx's Blog


i think im bipolar, but my parents live in this bubble where they think everythings okay, everythings perfect. i try to tell them theres something wrong but they lecture me before i even tell them whats wrong. i NEED to get tested to see if i am in fact bipolar. i took a bunch of online tests but i wanna know for SURE but there is no way my parents will ever take me, there is no way i can tell them.
any ideas?
can someone who is older than 18 take me or does it have to be my parents? help me please


First day of school tomorrow.
'Nuff said.

School Nerves

It's Saturday night today, so close to Monday. I am beyond nervios about school you cant even imagine. I dont know when my collage clases will be or what time or where. I have not seen my schedule yet and... I dont know. Im Kind of excited about the new year but at the same time im not.i dont feel ready yet or some thing like that.i hate not knowing how thingy will turn out, and i hate being nervous. I know im rambling but i Kind of need to. Rambling about some thing that makes me nervous helps calm me down a bit most of the time, so eXpect another blog like this one tomorrow. Also, i apologize for any spelling mistakes, im usando my mum's iPad and ir has autocorrect...
Year thats Its for Now. Haha Sorry again for my senseless rambling.

I suck at Geometry

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Nothing Hurts More Than A Friend's Betrayal

 i texted Monica* and told her how i hated that Kristin* was always flirting with Patrick* while she was still going out with Jason*, and on another text, but during the same conversation, i told Monica* that Kristin should dump Jason* so she could go out with Patrick* because they would make a super cute couple. two days after i sent that text, i found out through another friend that Monica had gone and showed Kristin* that first text that said that Kristin* was always flirting with Patrick* while she was still going out with Jason*, and then she told Kristin* that i had said that she(Kristin*) was a slut. now Kristin* is mad at me and wont talk to me, Monica*, for some crazy reason, is mad at me as well, and Pamela*, some random chick that's Kristin's* friend, that had nothing to do with this s**t, is also mad at me, saying how i called her a slut as well. Bad thing is that almost everyone believed Monica* and ugh! like, what i hated was that Monica* went and told everyone what i had said and she twisted up everything. i hate that Pamela* is just running her mouth and this s**t wasnt even about her! and that my friend, Kristin*, believed Monica* over me!


ok, so i just wanna make something clear: I AM NOT ANTISOCIAL!
ok, so most girls my age like partying and clubbin... I DONT! that sure dont make me antisocial! i just rather go to the movies or to a friend's house or the beach than to go to a quinceanera! i dont like parties and i dont like dancing.
but there's gonna be a quinceanera next saturday and its my friend's. i dont like the people she hangs out with and i dont like dancing, so if i go i would just make a fool out of myself and i know i will be miserable the whole time, but the only reason im going is because she's my friend, but i really dont wanna go.
any ideas of what i can do???


My friend is going from bad to worse. SHe is turning into a stuck up bitch. some guy she hasnt seen in person for over a year asked her to be his gf and she said yes. i love her to death but everyone is calling her desperate behind her back. i am tired of defending her, especially when she does nothing to return the favor. i heard her talking about me. she was saying some bad things about me to the people who are no calling her desperate! i cant take it anymore, i need to get away from her for now


Everyone always telling  my friend that she's beautiful, and no one ever paying attention to me. Boys paying attention to her, and not me. Im jealous. I love my friend, but I wish guys would pay more attention to me.
I mean, Im not ugly or anything, but... I dunno. It still hurts.

I hate gossipers

omg I seriously hate it when people talk about you when they think you're not listening... I mean, come on! Do you think I'm deaf, or do you think that no one will tell me? COME ON!! we're in high school, everyone knows everything!! plus, if you have something to say to me, SAY IT TO MY FACE!


My best friend and i hadnt talked (like really talk) for months. i mean, it was just like whatever when we talked, always about non important things. we are both very different, you know? she's more outgoing than i am, so that's kinda why we hadnt talked as much, i guess, but we were still best friends. a few days ago, we were waiting to be picked up from school, and we were alone, none of the other girls that usually keep her from talking to me (not on purpose, but like they start talking to her so we cant talk anymore) were around, so we started talking, and we ended up talking for over two hours! i loved it! i was so happy, it felt as if i'd gotten my best friend back! i had missed her, to tell you the truth, missed talking to her about anything that came to mind. even though its hard to love her sometimes, i still do. she's my best friend.


OK, I just found out that my friends, as well as my family, enjoy making me feel stupid.
we took a test on friday and i failed it, and i felt like **** for it, but then they go and tell me only idiots fail that test... MY OWN FRIENDS SAID THAT!!
i'll admit it, it hurt to hear them say that.

Nothing Dramatic

Just like the title says, todays blog aint nothing dramitic or out of this world. i just, well yesterday at school, i saw this guy i like.  im not sure if i like him like him, though. its like i like him as a friend, hes funny and all, but i dont know if i like him like him. i mean he aint ugly or nothing, but i just dont want to go out with him and ruin our friendship. he asked me out yesterday. and i didnt know what to say so i just said i couldnt go to the movies with him cuz i was busy. im just scared he'll ask me out again and when i say no, he'll ask for a reason. its just that i really need a friend right now and i dont wanna loose him. he means too much to me. any ideas of what i can do??


i work my butt off to get the grades i get. i mean, im sorry i cant be perfect, you kow? i stay for tutoring every week, and try my best on every test, but no matter what i do, nothing ever seems to be enough for my mum. always making me feel stupid and useless. i hate it. like, last night i got the results for the PSAT, and i got some of the highest scores in my class, so i was all excited and wanted to show my mum. but when she saw it, she got mad at me, saying how dissapointed she was in me, and why couldnt i be as good as my sisters were? i have never been, and will never be, good enough for my mum. i can try all i want, but it will never happen.

They're fighting again

Im at school right now so this post will be short... anyways, yesterday, my mum and my older sister got in a fight again. i hate their fights. they scream at each other and they say really stupid and just awful things. my sister started saying how she was gona leave and never come back. she came into our room and started packing some of her stuff and i seriously thought she was gonna leave. i cried and beg her not to leave, but it didnt matter. she walked out the door without even looking back. i was crying so hard last night. thankfully, my dad came home and when he heard what had happened, he went to look for my sister and found her at her friend's house. he brought her back home. i swear, it was one of the worst nights of my entire life!!

1-13 of 13 Blogs   

Previous Posts
bipolar, posted November 2nd, 2012
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, posted August 26th, 2012
School Nerves, posted August 25th, 2012
I suck at Geometry, posted May 30th, 2012
Nothing Hurts More Than A Friend's Betrayal, posted April 27th, 2012
HELP!, posted April 18th, 2012
desperate, posted March 25th, 2012
Beautiful?, posted March 6th, 2012
I hate gossipers, posted March 1st, 2012
CATCHING UP, posted February 17th, 2012
FEELING STUPID, posted February 13th, 2012, 1 comment
Nothing Dramatic, posted February 10th, 2012
GRADES, posted February 8th, 2012
They're fighting again, posted February 7th, 2012

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